To me, after the year I have gone through, there isn’t quite a better feeling then getting a compliment on my outfit. I don’t need reassurance from the outside world to build my confidence, but who doesn’t love to receive a compliment on what they love doing. I think it’s important to try and give a stranger, or even someone you know, one compliment a day. You never know just how much it would mean to them to receive one.
For the year 2016, there were probably only a handful of times that I actually felt good about myself and my appearance. I’m not sure how many people knew that – if any. I was at the pool all the time, I mean it is southern California and we have some of the nicest weather around. However, I was so self conscious through out the entire time. After I had my son Maximus, I breastfed for four months, where all of my weight shredded off with no problem. I was at my pre baby weight and was thinking “holy shit this was so easy!” and then I remember distinctly within the week I started weening off breastfeeding, I just kept putting on the pounds. The reality set in that this was not going to be easy, and my body had completely changed – along with my mentality.
In January of 2017, I made the decision to go back to my job at Hooters. I had always loved working there, it’s where I had made my all of my best friends to this day. When I tried on my old uniform again however, it almost brought me to tears. I was a broken record to my husband “Do I look ok? Do I look ok? Do I look ok?” woof. It was hard. But I knew in my heart this was the right decision and I knew it would help me get my confidence back. Within a couple weeks believe it or not, I was feeling like my old self again. I was genuinely happy and confident with my appearance. I actually put on make up, did my hair, and was walking an average of four to five miles a shift. It was surreal, but I guess it’s what I truly needed. Now, when I have a day off, I’m actually excited to get dressed again. I wake up and I’m already planning out my look of the day.
A few weeks ago, my husband, Maximus and I were at the Americana in Glendale, which is a beautiful outdoor mall with restaurants, shops and a movie theater. We were walking around and in the corner of my eye I spotted something sparkling. In the window of TopShop on a mannequin I noticed the MOTO sequin disco jeans and I just had to have them. I love a statement item, and this was definitely going to be one. I got my shirt from a little boutique in Toluca Lake called “Rose and Sage” which is walking distance to my home. I paired the pants with a simple sandal that I’ve had for years and you can find a similar inexpensive pair here. Jack Daniel’s in not only my favorite whiskey, but it’s the story behind how my husband and I met. So obviously driving over Barham blvd, and noticing this billboard on a famous Liquor store, we had to stop and snap a pic.
It’s not easy for me to come forward with my insecurities, but If I can admit them, and what works/worked for me to start healing, I feel compelled to share. Sometimes you need to take a step back in order to take a step forward.